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Anthony (Antonio) Aversano is a survivor of trauma and a victor over tragedy. On September 11th,
2001, Antonio's father Louis was killed in the World Trade Center. Living in California at the time,
Antonio found it one of the biggest challenges of his life to face some of the thoughts, feelings, fears, and
whole life fallout that was before him. The fact that 9/11 was so heavily dramatized and replayed through
the media, a continued onslaught of sounds and images of that day re-traumatized Antonio and many
family members over and over again.
Facing and struggling through some of the very normal responses of the trauma from 9/11 and the murder
of his father (shock, fear, flashbacks, anger, anxiety, depression, etc...), Antonio was blessed to have also
been on a path self awareness and in the practice of using self reflection techniques during that time of his
life. Building on the path of self awareness he was already on, Antonio again looked towards the tools of
self reflection and the skills of a professional Life Coach for deeper guidance through this situation.
Through the self care choices he made and being committed to wanting to help himself during this
challenging time, Antonio was able to break free from the crippling cycles of victim-hood associated with
trauma and found himself in a perspective of "seeing a big picture". Antonio miraculously transformed the
grips of anxiety, fear, hatred and anger to a space of empowerment, clarity and compassion.
Antonio's main transformation came through a personal process of self reflection and prayer where he
feels he connected with a place of inner divine wisdom. This space of graceful clarity allowed him to see
his situation through a larger lens of life.
Antonio recognized that two of the gifts he and all human beings have are the gift of "perspective" and the
gift of "conscious choice". During a moment of self reflection, he envisioned a metaphor of an artist
working with a chunk of clay. He saw the artist as himself and the clay as his life or any life experience. He
recognized that a chunk of clay is nothing until the artist sees in it some kind of image or meaning and then
molds the chunk into what they envision. He also noticed that a ball of clay may appear differently in the
eyes of different artists, of course, depending on their particular perspective and what they envision at that
time.
The light bulb went off for Antonio when he realized that this metaphor of the process of creating art out
of clay, was just like the process of how we deal with the experiences of life! Life is always throwing at
us, in every experience we have, a new ball of clay. How we interpret that clay and the impression
we choose to create from that clay is then up to us! So, the big question at hand for Antonio was,
Continuing to explore this metaphor, Antonio also saw that not every piece of clay is easy to work with -
some pieces are harder than others, sometimes it takes a long time to draw out of it what you envision,
and sometimes you may start with one view but then the clay takes on a life of its own and you end up with
something you never would have imagined.
Trying to stand in the perspective of an artist, Antonio was blessed to see that sometimes an artist simply
surrenders to the process and lets go of their own notions of what the outcome is supposed to be. He
realized, when you stop trying to make what you have into what "you think" it is supposed to be, you then
allow whatever wants to be born in that moment to come through and therefore allow that experience to
take on its own natural flow and form.
Antonio found himself in a place of deep personal surrender and letting go. Overcome with emotion, he
recognized that just as in the process of art, in the process of life we are always students. As soon as we
think we have figured it out or try to put any part of life into a mold, it surprises us and gives us something
we didn't expect. How naive of us to think that we could possibly understand why everything happens the
way it does. Many times we just won't understand life and simply need to trust. There may be something
in store for us that we simply can't see yet.
Through this perspective, Antonio arrived at a deep inner peace, strangely contradicting the great turmoil
that still surrounded him in the world.
Antonio arrived at a place of knowing that all there is to do in life is to work with what we're
given and try to bring out the best in what we have that is right in front of us.
If we look hard enough, at some point on our journey, we realize that all of life is beautiful and perfect
exactly how it is - even the lessons and learning that seem like our greatest challenges. Our only job as
artists of life is to welcome the challenges as our growth and reveal the beauty that is inherent in all
things, the beauty that is already there and is just waiting to be noticed.
Antonio believes this space of grace and peace he came upon in the face of what many consider
one of the worst tragedy's in American history, is possible for any person who is in the midst of
recovering from a traumatic experience. We all have the ability to naturally allow our human
process of trauma to unfold, and when we are ready, to begin to mold our own ball of clay, to
rise above our circumstances by using our ability to be more self aware and be responsibly
consciousness of how we choose to view and respond to any area of life, including the worst of
tragedy's.
A Gift from My Dad
Antonio finds it no coincidence that part of his inspiration and ability to take responsibility for his
perception of life came from an experience of reconciling with his Dad, exactly two years prior to his
Dad's death, on September 11th, 1999.
Antonio realized that September day, that his relationship with his Dad was stuck and was lifeless. He
was trapped in a reality where his Dad was a jerk, unreliable, not trustworthy, not supportive, etc.... It
was a classic "blaming of the parents for why life wasn't working" scenario. What he awakened to that
day was that it was himself (Antonio) that was creating this reality of who his Dad was and that his Dad
was simply just being his Dad.
By taking responsibility for the judgments, anger, blaming, and resentment he had towards his Dad,
Antonio found himself in the biggest transformation of his life! In one phone call to his Dad, saying the
words, "I'm Sorry", a huge weight was lifted for him and more than six years of disconnection and
barriers were melted away in the tears of that one phone call.
The lesson for Antonio that day, that contributes directly to how he dealt with the trauma of losing his Dad
two years later, was this: When we are willing to challenge ourselves to explore new ways of
looking at the circumstances of our life, we then recognize we also have the power to choose
new ways of perceiving and interacting with any life situation. This altering of perspective
directly impacts how we then experience life's outcomes. The process of perspective exploring
and re-alignment also simultaneously frees us from any perceptions that may have been
distorted, blurry, or may have held us prisoner in our own life.
Through the process of taking responsibility for his perceptions of his Dad that day, Antonio could no
longer blame his Dad, or any circumstance outside himself, for the quality or outcome of his life. That was
both good and bad news for Antonio. It was bad news because, at that point, whatever happened in his
life (expected or un-expected), he was now responsible for. The good news was that by putting himself
in control of his choices, he also put himself at the source of everything in life - including his happiness.
This shift in perception and putting himself at the source of his life, instead of being at the effect of it, gave
the power of life back to Antonio. This shift also freed Antonio from the very dark lens he was seeing life
through, allowing him to recognize the love that was always in his Dad, in himself, and in their relationship.
Without the obscured vision, he could now see the love, light, and life in all things. You could say, the
window cleaner was put to work that day and the sun was now able to shine through the once very dirty
looking glass.
It was in this experience that Antonio first saw that no matter what happens in life, you can accept what
comes, see in it the learning, the lessons, and the ways it serves your path, and work with the experience
like that ball of clay, molding it into a shape of reality you wish to create that works for your life and not
against it.
Summary
Antonio believes in the power of conscious choice. He believes when we take responsibility for our
perceptions and reactions to life, we give ourselves back our power to choose how we wish to respond
to any circumstance that life can dish out.
He believes we all the have the power to find the golden lining in every cloud. And if we can't see it, then
all we need to do is have faith that it is still there and trust that, when we are ready, our sight will be clear.
Even the simple recognition that we all have the gifts of perspective and conscious choice within us, gives
us access to break the cycles of victim hood in any traumatic experience.
Taking things one step further.... The process of reclaiming "choice" can also go beyond our choices
around our "reactions" to life and bridge into the world of "creation". Once we cross that bridge of
claiming conscious choice, we can also then take it to the next level and use the ability to focus our
consciousness and attention towards thoughts and outcomes that inspire us instead of deflate us.
Being empowered with choice begins to give us the power to guide our thoughts, feelings, and
interpretations towards life-views and life-outcomes that truly fulfill us at our core. We give ourselves the
ability to focus our attention and align our intention with outcomes in life that match our deepest core
values, reflect what we truly wish to create, and align with the divine design of our life.
Reclaiming conscious choice teaches us that what we give our attention to grows. So if we wish to live
a life that is truly fulfilling, we must take seriously and responsibly our ability to focus our attention and
intention on a vision of life that is a life we love.
2001, Antonio's father Louis was killed in the World Trade Center. Living in California at the time,
Antonio found it one of the biggest challenges of his life to face some of the thoughts, feelings, fears, and
whole life fallout that was before him. The fact that 9/11 was so heavily dramatized and replayed through
the media, a continued onslaught of sounds and images of that day re-traumatized Antonio and many
family members over and over again.
Facing and struggling through some of the very normal responses of the trauma from 9/11 and the murder
of his father (shock, fear, flashbacks, anger, anxiety, depression, etc...), Antonio was blessed to have also
been on a path self awareness and in the practice of using self reflection techniques during that time of his
life. Building on the path of self awareness he was already on, Antonio again looked towards the tools of
self reflection and the skills of a professional Life Coach for deeper guidance through this situation.
Through the self care choices he made and being committed to wanting to help himself during this
challenging time, Antonio was able to break free from the crippling cycles of victim-hood associated with
trauma and found himself in a perspective of "seeing a big picture". Antonio miraculously transformed the
grips of anxiety, fear, hatred and anger to a space of empowerment, clarity and compassion.
Antonio's main transformation came through a personal process of self reflection and prayer where he
feels he connected with a place of inner divine wisdom. This space of graceful clarity allowed him to see
his situation through a larger lens of life.
Antonio recognized that two of the gifts he and all human beings have are the gift of "perspective" and the
gift of "conscious choice". During a moment of self reflection, he envisioned a metaphor of an artist
working with a chunk of clay. He saw the artist as himself and the clay as his life or any life experience. He
recognized that a chunk of clay is nothing until the artist sees in it some kind of image or meaning and then
molds the chunk into what they envision. He also noticed that a ball of clay may appear differently in the
eyes of different artists, of course, depending on their particular perspective and what they envision at that
time.
The light bulb went off for Antonio when he realized that this metaphor of the process of creating art out
of clay, was just like the process of how we deal with the experiences of life! Life is always throwing at
us, in every experience we have, a new ball of clay. How we interpret that clay and the impression
we choose to create from that clay is then up to us! So, the big question at hand for Antonio was,
- "What am I going to create out of the clay I was given on 9/11?"
Continuing to explore this metaphor, Antonio also saw that not every piece of clay is easy to work with -
some pieces are harder than others, sometimes it takes a long time to draw out of it what you envision,
and sometimes you may start with one view but then the clay takes on a life of its own and you end up with
something you never would have imagined.
Trying to stand in the perspective of an artist, Antonio was blessed to see that sometimes an artist simply
surrenders to the process and lets go of their own notions of what the outcome is supposed to be. He
realized, when you stop trying to make what you have into what "you think" it is supposed to be, you then
allow whatever wants to be born in that moment to come through and therefore allow that experience to
take on its own natural flow and form.
Antonio found himself in a place of deep personal surrender and letting go. Overcome with emotion, he
recognized that just as in the process of art, in the process of life we are always students. As soon as we
think we have figured it out or try to put any part of life into a mold, it surprises us and gives us something
we didn't expect. How naive of us to think that we could possibly understand why everything happens the
way it does. Many times we just won't understand life and simply need to trust. There may be something
in store for us that we simply can't see yet.
Through this perspective, Antonio arrived at a deep inner peace, strangely contradicting the great turmoil
that still surrounded him in the world.
Antonio arrived at a place of knowing that all there is to do in life is to work with what we're
given and try to bring out the best in what we have that is right in front of us.
If we look hard enough, at some point on our journey, we realize that all of life is beautiful and perfect
exactly how it is - even the lessons and learning that seem like our greatest challenges. Our only job as
artists of life is to welcome the challenges as our growth and reveal the beauty that is inherent in all
things, the beauty that is already there and is just waiting to be noticed.
Antonio believes this space of grace and peace he came upon in the face of what many consider
one of the worst tragedy's in American history, is possible for any person who is in the midst of
recovering from a traumatic experience. We all have the ability to naturally allow our human
process of trauma to unfold, and when we are ready, to begin to mold our own ball of clay, to
rise above our circumstances by using our ability to be more self aware and be responsibly
consciousness of how we choose to view and respond to any area of life, including the worst of
tragedy's.
A Gift from My Dad
Antonio finds it no coincidence that part of his inspiration and ability to take responsibility for his
perception of life came from an experience of reconciling with his Dad, exactly two years prior to his
Dad's death, on September 11th, 1999.
Antonio realized that September day, that his relationship with his Dad was stuck and was lifeless. He
was trapped in a reality where his Dad was a jerk, unreliable, not trustworthy, not supportive, etc.... It
was a classic "blaming of the parents for why life wasn't working" scenario. What he awakened to that
day was that it was himself (Antonio) that was creating this reality of who his Dad was and that his Dad
was simply just being his Dad.
By taking responsibility for the judgments, anger, blaming, and resentment he had towards his Dad,
Antonio found himself in the biggest transformation of his life! In one phone call to his Dad, saying the
words, "I'm Sorry", a huge weight was lifted for him and more than six years of disconnection and
barriers were melted away in the tears of that one phone call.
The lesson for Antonio that day, that contributes directly to how he dealt with the trauma of losing his Dad
two years later, was this: When we are willing to challenge ourselves to explore new ways of
looking at the circumstances of our life, we then recognize we also have the power to choose
new ways of perceiving and interacting with any life situation. This altering of perspective
directly impacts how we then experience life's outcomes. The process of perspective exploring
and re-alignment also simultaneously frees us from any perceptions that may have been
distorted, blurry, or may have held us prisoner in our own life.
Through the process of taking responsibility for his perceptions of his Dad that day, Antonio could no
longer blame his Dad, or any circumstance outside himself, for the quality or outcome of his life. That was
both good and bad news for Antonio. It was bad news because, at that point, whatever happened in his
life (expected or un-expected), he was now responsible for. The good news was that by putting himself
in control of his choices, he also put himself at the source of everything in life - including his happiness.
This shift in perception and putting himself at the source of his life, instead of being at the effect of it, gave
the power of life back to Antonio. This shift also freed Antonio from the very dark lens he was seeing life
through, allowing him to recognize the love that was always in his Dad, in himself, and in their relationship.
Without the obscured vision, he could now see the love, light, and life in all things. You could say, the
window cleaner was put to work that day and the sun was now able to shine through the once very dirty
looking glass.
It was in this experience that Antonio first saw that no matter what happens in life, you can accept what
comes, see in it the learning, the lessons, and the ways it serves your path, and work with the experience
like that ball of clay, molding it into a shape of reality you wish to create that works for your life and not
against it.
Summary
Antonio believes in the power of conscious choice. He believes when we take responsibility for our
perceptions and reactions to life, we give ourselves back our power to choose how we wish to respond
to any circumstance that life can dish out.
He believes we all the have the power to find the golden lining in every cloud. And if we can't see it, then
all we need to do is have faith that it is still there and trust that, when we are ready, our sight will be clear.
Even the simple recognition that we all have the gifts of perspective and conscious choice within us, gives
us access to break the cycles of victim hood in any traumatic experience.
Taking things one step further.... The process of reclaiming "choice" can also go beyond our choices
around our "reactions" to life and bridge into the world of "creation". Once we cross that bridge of
claiming conscious choice, we can also then take it to the next level and use the ability to focus our
consciousness and attention towards thoughts and outcomes that inspire us instead of deflate us.
Being empowered with choice begins to give us the power to guide our thoughts, feelings, and
interpretations towards life-views and life-outcomes that truly fulfill us at our core. We give ourselves the
ability to focus our attention and align our intention with outcomes in life that match our deepest core
values, reflect what we truly wish to create, and align with the divine design of our life.
Reclaiming conscious choice teaches us that what we give our attention to grows. So if we wish to live
a life that is truly fulfilling, we must take seriously and responsibly our ability to focus our attention and
intention on a vision of life that is a life we love.
| Copyright © 2006 - 2007 Possibility Unlimited / Anthony Aversano All rights reserved. |
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